Emotional reactions to threats to acceptance and belonging: a retrospective look at the big picture

Looking back at more than 40 years of the author’s work on social emotions reveals that emotional reactions as diverse as hurt feelings, loneliness, social anxiety, jealousy, guilt, embarrassment, and, often, sadness are linked to people’s concerns with acceptance and belonging. This article examines the nature and function of these emotions, describes previously unpublished research findings, examines the central role of relational value in reactions to low acceptance and belonging, and applies these ideas to speculate about the nature and function of loneliness. KEY POINTS (1) Most negative social emotions--such as social anxiety, loneliness, hurt feelings, jealousy, and social sadness--are related to each other. (2) One connection among these emotions is that all are associated with a feeling of rejection or low belonging. (3) This article provides a retrospective look at the author’s work on social emotions over the past 40 years, providing an integrative model of emotional reactions to rejection. (4) Each of these emotions arises when people perceive that their relational value is low–that others do not adequately value having a relationship with them. (5) These emotions function to alert people to possible threats to belonging and acceptance and to motivate behaviors that maintain high relational value and take reparative actions when people perceive that their relational is low or declining.

Duke Scholars

Author Mark R. Leary Psychology & Neuroscience